5/23/2012 Dream

I am at my fathers house. my grandmother is with me in the living room. We are waiting for someone to deliver a ingredient. It's dangerous because depending on who shows up it will tell us if something has gone wrong at the fight. It will either be a bald shorter Mexican guy and a tall dark haired guy with a thick beard. We here a truck pull up and slam it's door. I run to the window to peer behind the curtains
 the tall dark hair'd man with a beard has made it. It seems to be the wrong option. I ready my cellphone to call those who can help. The man rings our doorbell and my grandmother answers it. He stands there motionless except for holding out a crumpled brown bag filled with something. She takes it then locks the door. We know he is a day walking vampire now. I rush to lock every door and window in the house. On the way back from the back door I catch a glimpse of a coat sleeve outside the sliding glass door. In an attempt to scary him from trying to open it I walk in front of the curtain face my cat's litter box. I loudly and calming ask my grandmother if we have litter. This will make him think we are calm. I get my grandmother to my back bedroom and ask her to lock the door on the other side. I think I intend to fight him. Then my father shows up asking what is wrong. With him looks like the man at first and I nervously say dad. but instead it isn't the man but a tall dark haired boy who knows my father. My dad picked him up while walking on the highway towards the convieniace store. He was the one at the glass sliding doors and explains he always let's himself in there when i am not here.i tell my dad about the bad man and he says there isn't anyone here. I run to the window to see the tan truck had left. We relax and sit and talk on the couches in my bedroom. i say how I'll never understand why my father and grandmother never lock doors. My father asks my grandmother to explain how things used to be. A time with there wasn't a need to lock your door. My grandmother slouches back like a angsty teenager playing with her iphone game.

5/22/12 Dream

I was in a hospital waiting room. I sat on a pale blue couch facing towards the window. We are on a higher floor because out the window I see the sky and the top of the next building. A large family comes and sits around me. I recognize them as my favorite youtubers, the Shaytards. I chit chat telling them how funny it is. I said I waited here before in the same seat when I went to got my tonsils removed. Now to sit here with celebrities is surreal. They all stand so I stand too. There is a line forming at the double door where patients go. I followed along with the family in line. Behind me came my family. My grandfather was pulling his saggy jeans up like he always used to do. I was confused why he was there because he died. My dad comes to me to explain that he was just sick and we buried an empty casket last year. I hug him wanting to ask him questions about being dead. Instead I filed back in line and stay staring forward.

5/21/2012 Dream

I was at my grandmothers house. It was only me and my father. We were navigating her dark trailer and he was rushing me. I was wearing layers of clothes which looked like a black and white corset  onsomble. They were tight and uncomfortable, cutting at my arms and legs, I felt cramped in the narrow halls of the trailer. My father was speaking to me. Said something like...Don't you know it's the aniversary. Don't you care. From this i understood it was the aniversary of my grandfathers death. What we were getting ready and rushed for had something to do about that. he opened the backdoor and pulled his truck around. I needed to change because my pants had shrunk so much it felt like I was only in my panties. The trailer was getting darker and I had to feel my way to my old childhood room. The door was getting stuck on the high carpet and things behind blocked the door. I wiggle through the narrow opening, getting frustrated of having no room. Suddenly I outside fo my grandmothers trailer, in the bright sun on top of a hill I played on as a child. There was a layout of all my funiture and dirty clothes from my dorm room around me. Near an old tree I feel that there are people to ignore. I assume they are the neighbors black children all coming closer and stairing. I am suddenly ashamed of my tight binding clothes and pantslessness. I find a pair of dark denim shorts and quickly put them on. I begin to walk to my fathers truck. Underfoot the grass feels prickly like untamed meadow. As lightly as I can and quickly, I sprint down hill.

Do I or do I not Dreams

My most basic dream is those of simple actions. Either one or two odd things I can encounter in my daily life.

It is often my alternative choice that I had made. A pen is left near the sidewalk; I decided to not pick it up. That night or when I sleep, I am back at that moment where I decided not to pick up the pen. Instead, I pick it up and place it in my purse. When I wake I feel a completeness, like that moment was weighing on me and now I could let it go. If it is a grocery list that was folded left in a shopping cart that I do not read, in my dream I will open it to read out items I guess was there.

Not all of them are the moments of choice.  Some are ones that complete a goal I gave myself that I did not actually achieve. If losing an item caused me distress and I did not find it, it my dream it will be at my feet to pick up. Chores such as folding the laundry or reorganizing the shelves are done in length, all in first person. Even a missed call may be returned when I had no intention of actually returning it awake.

I am a natural collector of odds and ends so I think it contributes to the feeling of completeness I feel when I dream of picking up passed items. When I was younger I had a jewelry box filled with the odd lost earring or piece of a key chain. Things I found mildly interesting such as a sealed wrapper missing it's candy or strange shaped pebble found it's way there.

Beginning Dreams

This is my introduction. Let's start at the beginning.

 Before I had a grasp of reality I was a little girl. She remembers vividly the great white shark swimming towards her from behind the couch. At the end of the dark hallway was spider man, just in his crouch stance on top of the washer. Nap time was transported to the moon, little mounds of sleeping aliens surrounding her. Was any of it real; no of course not. This is my childhood, my memories and my dreams.

 This collection of dreams will be a catalog of every dream I remember to it's fullest from the beginning and every dream in the future. It's time to stop ignoring the art my mind as created.